A Christmas Tale

One day in a town not far from anywhere, there was a huge motor traffic accident involving legions of drivers all over the place.

It was terrible because no-one got anything done that day, and all sorts of fights broke out. Bruised egos and fragile marriages were shattered all over the place.

This was especially bad news, because the town already had problems with businesses going under, taxes not being collected, and investment drying up because outside investors (no-one inside had so much as 0.5 escudos left) were not even gossiping about not going there any more, but just privately waiting for the inevitable, when they could come in and plunder what little was left, as it was owed them anyway...

Everyone ended up in court, and after police investigations everyone was put on the very naughty list and also ordered to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings because it turned out they were all either drunk, stoned, or on medication that prohibited their use of a vehicle.

Anyway the first few meetings were total chaos (which was what the judge and his good friend a psychotherapist expected), and at the end of each meet every one was reminded that their future was at stake, and as none of them could afford a drink anymore after the hefty fine and the declining economic circumstances, they eventually believed it and realised the only way forward for their selfish selves was to come clean and start talking to each other.

Then after 4 months something happened 

• they all realised they weren't driving to their destinations any more but feeding their habit to drive and isolating themselves from the world around them
• the city planner suddenly realised there was no public transport, no traffic lights, not even any stop signs - everyone had just been 'getting on with it'
• a significant percentage realised their 40km journey to work around the routes that had the least traffic that they had discovered over the years, handed down from generation to generation incorporating small delicatessens, butchers and grocery stores back in the day, could easily be replaced by a 10 minute walk through a shortcut, and that most of the reasons for the circuit had disappeared.

So far about 6 more months they bitched at each other for ruining each others lives.

One day, when they were all just as hopeless and depressed as ever, and no nearer being released from their commitment to attend, the judge and therapist sensed this was the vulnerable moment, and gave an ultimatum:

"Do you want and end to this?"

"Yes" - it was the first time they had sung in harmony.  One or two of them put a gun to their own heads, but it was for show only, no bullets.  No one was fooled.

"Do you accept you haven't a clue how?"  Stony silence, then uproar.

Fine, the two thought to themselves.  This lot are on the path to recovery in spite of themselves.

The 2 questions were repeated again and again over the next 3 months, and each time the final answer was indignation, but less each time, mostly because some of the clever ones had realised it wasn't going to get them out of the door.

Finally the pair knew the moment had come.

Over the months, even though the selfish townsfolk had been nagging and bitching each other as the source of their woes, they had been dropping clues as to what their lives should have been about, until a skeleton picture existed that could be a start.

Finally, the therapist was able to amaze each of them with an uncannily accurate description of a simple fact that would make something in their life better, and that was all the seed needed to begin a co-operation, but not without the vigilance of the therapist and the judge, who like before knew when each moment could be turned to a new lesson, and also knew that the townsfolk would have to be taught to change by subtly doing it until over a long time it became habit, because they were all too wrapped up in themselves at first to do it by choice.

You see, in a former life the therapist had been a big spiritualist fake, and knew well how to read half truths and obscurities, but that was the past, and s/he was now dedicated to using their extraordinary super powers of human observation for good.

And the judge had seen it all before.

Both of them knew the number of false peaks that would appear when folks thought they finally had the exit in their sites and would claim they were healed.

A point came when the judge and therapist agreed between themselves that they had gone as far as they could, and they needed to be set free from there, but far from declaring the exorcism complete, they just slipped out the back door, and were seen no more.

Strangely though no-one noticed and the discussion continued - someone baked, someone cooked, someone brewed beer, and the meetings were by now big social events, problem solving groups, and other stuff.

Eventually the town renounced driving as a cardinal sin except when racing, playing chicken, or for finding some cheap thrill and near death experience.  This was fully approved by all spiritual leaders.

A system of public transport, cycle routes, and optimised working hours and practises was put in place so everyone got to where they were going and never bumped into each other.

A stunning race circuit and freeway were built so people could have high octane fun when they wanted it, and get to places they really couldn't reach conveniently by public transport with as much speed and fun as they could handle.

The food suddenly became fresh because the delivery companies could arrive on time finally, so everyone got healthy. And the space revealed by the disappeared traffic jams became organic farms, sports grounds, and lovers' haunts.

And then investors came back, but they couldn't get in the door until they had undergone a thorough examination by the newly appointed Quality Committee from the townsfolk, who finally understood what they needed, how they relied on each other, and would be damned if anyone barged in, didn't come up to scratch, and screwed up their Brave New World.